The Everything Person
I recently left the nonprofit organization that I had been on staff with for 15 years. (Today, I will spare you the whole story about how my period of unemployment was a direct outgrowth of project 2025.)
My big piece of advice in having gone through this is:
NEVER LET YOURSELF BECOME “THE EVERYTHING PERSON” ON A TEAM
What do I mean by The Everything Person? I mean the person who knows everything, of course. The person who takes on everything.The one that everybody else goes to for help and support. The long tenured, self appointed or group default work expert genius nerd try hard, who has gone so deep in the organization or work that they lose themselves and others cannot move forward w: their work without them involved somehow.
I love that most people younger than me don’t stay in work environments that don’t serve them… Or at least that’s what the data shows. I have never been like that. I have had to try to overcome so much deep programming about how my ability to produce at work and be “perfect“ was my worth.
I’ve been a lifelong try hard, a bit of a teacher’s pet type, a hand raiser, an overachiever, sick on producing disease, an enneagram type one (for those who are familiar.) My particular child abuse history and baggage made me act as if I had to constantly try to prove myself like this. A deep sense of insecurity was underlying it the whole time. I took every opportunity to move “upward“ that I could. I needed the A. To “advance” in my career at the sacrifice of myself.
Across those 15 years, of course I became The Everything Person. Especially because my team was usually fairly small and so there weren’t things like a defined HR department to go to, etc. Any question or need for historical knowledge or staff coaching fell my way. Over and over and over again.
I once had some coworkers kind of politely confront me about it and explain that when I unnecessarily raise the bar, it doesn’t help anyone. What they didn’t help me get is that the number one person who would suffer MOST from this mentality and role that I had chosen to play was me. The systems rewarded my self sacrifice in titles and such while it was quietly killing me.
I know this with extreme clarity of understanding now because I have started a new job where I am the new kid on the block and the amount of weight of expectation and pressure that is off of me is so enormous that it feels life-changing. And I didn’t understand that the weight of being The Everything Person was at the core of why I was so burned out and got painfully resentful.
I did this to myself… I understand that now. But the system is also did it to me as well and encouraged me to sacrifice myself in ways that I didn’t even know I was doing.
Never ever ever ever ever become The Everything Person. I’m not saying don’t have pride in your work. I’m not saying don’t still give a good effort if that feels great for you. But I am saying never ever ever ever the yourself become The Everything Person.
It’s not an award. It’s a curse.
It may be helpful to know what it looks like and sounds like to be on the path to becoming The Everything Person (TEP) or being a full blown TEP:
Your boss, "Lol, I can't remember anything, I've exported my memory to TEP" or "no one makes my job easier than you" or "where does your motivation come from--I wish I could get everyone to your level"
When talking to new coworkers about your role they may say "Is there anything you don't do here...?" or you may hear yourself saying something like "We're such a small team, I wear a lot of hats" the dreaded phrase of the overworked nonprofit person
From peers "TEP can help you with that, she knows everything" or "I can't even remember what it was like before TEP joined the team. How did we get anything done?" or "I just go to TEP before I [XYZ job specific thing] because she'll make sure it's all good." Or "when in doubt, TEP's door is always open!"
Management or leadership is openly using you/your outputs as "the gold standard" or the benchmark at which everyone else should be measured like "if we can just get everyone to be like TEP, our profits would soar!" (I've been in the nonprofit sector for 20 years but I had shitty retail and food jobs before those and was the same)
When your team accounts for task coverage, you take on more than is comfortable to fit into your work day and/or you start pulling longer hours than anyone else
You brag about some part of your overworking to feel better about it, like your ability to overproduce something. (For years, mine sounded like, "I can usually get about 10 grant proposals done in one day of hyperfocus!!!")
When a management coach comes in and teaches you some personality framework or team dynamic training and you are labeled something like an "A player" or a "tiger"
You are achieving and you still feel ultimately hollow, or even worse, extremely resentful toward others and you can't quite pinpoint why (pro tip: the call is coming from inside the house)
You find yourself raising your hand far more than anyone else when your boss/management needs extra tasks covered, so much so that you get the sense it's expected by everyone (most of all YOU) that you will.