Teflon ass bitch

Originally posted on tumblr

One of the things I love about my particular autistic self is that I can have a SUCH fucking spine of steel and a teflon back when it comes to professional criticism or conflict* I hear it, I integrate it, and I rarely waste feelings on the “woe is me” of it all.

And I say “criticism” because I’m specifically meaning hearing hard stuff about myself OR my approaches at work or on a team. I do NOT mean light constructive feedback bc most people I know can digest that. I mean CRITICISM.

9 times out of 10, my friends, peers, and colleagues who have been in similar managerial/leadership roles, in my view, are SO UNNECESSARILY sensitive. It feels to my logic-driven brain that they waste upset feelings on things that don’t need that personal charge to them. As if it’s a choice–I know they don’t experience it that way, but I do. A direct report will ask a question that points out something illogical and they hear it as an affront to them personally. Another will recommend changes to a process and they think it’s an attempt to undermine them.

The times I find myself filling in some version of a gentle “it sounds like they are just wanting what’s best for the mission/org/team…” is endless. I would expect part of why I hear those comments so differently is that I spent a long time as the employee who was saying things that were so well-intended but were heard poorly by my “superiors.”

*BUT THERE IS ONE NOTABLE EXCEPTION

My autistic brain, as most, is hard-wired for LOGIC AND TRUTH.

If you bring me something that is both logical and true, I cannot take much offense to it. It’s like a gift. We’re improving together. Yay! Onward and upward!

You bring me criticism in a way that feels inherently illogical and untrue and I will be upset. In fact, I may be so upset, I’ll enter borderline meltdown territory. This is the much less excellent side of myself. Sometimes something may feel SO untrue, I can’t even think of a way to move forward.