Boundaries

Originally posted on tumblr

Friends, read this and then read it again.

You are not always stuck in relationship dynamics that don’t serve you. It’s ok to figure out you need new boundaries at any time.

Safe people may be confused and need a moment to adjust and understand if you shift your boundaries on them, but they will ultimately listen and respond favorably and NEVER make you feel bad about it.

If someone is upset about or unwilling to accommodate boundaries this is the definition of a red flag.

What do new and changing boundaries look like? Needing more time to your self than you’ve had. Not using certain nicknames or pet names you allowed in the past but actually hate. Saying no to sexual activities you previously consented to. Accepting someone else’s decision to go no constant with a mutual family member. Asking for advanced notice before showing up at your house. Not dropping in to visit you at work anymore. Saying “no” and it being heard, unqualified, full stop.

Literally anything.

In kind, we must accept the boundaries that others set with us. You don’t have to like that your sister doesn’t want you to talk shit her best friend around her anymore, but you need to. It’s totally ok for your partner to need time to decompress when she gets home from work before you start talking about your day to her. Your coworker’s wish to news of a required work day with advanced notice is reasonable.

Again little stuff usually…but it all drives at the big stuff. Basically just show some respect and see others as autonomous beings ❤️ I promise you, if we all committed to that, truly, we’d be set.